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"Do you know what the meanest thing is you can say to a fat girl? ‘You’re not fat.’ I mean come on, buddy. It just sucks, it really really sucks, you have no idea. And the worst part is, I’m not even supposed to do this: tell anyone how bad it sucks, because it’s too much for people. I mean you can talk into the microphone and say, ‘I can’t get a date,’ you’re overweight. It’s adorable, but if I say it, they call the suicide hotline on me. I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks! It really sucks! And I’m gonna go ahead a say it: it’s your fault. Look, I really like you. You’re truly a good guy, I think, so sorry. I’m picking you. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys. Why do you hate us so much? What is it about the basics of human happiness, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us, that’s just not in the cards for us. Nope, not for us. How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just accept it? If I was very really beautiful, then you would’ve said yes when I asked you out. Be honest here. You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean the great-looking ones, like the really high caliber studs, they flirt right back no problem, because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me. And why not!? You know, if you were standing over there, looking at us, you know what you’d see? That we totally match. That we’re actually a great couple together. And yet, you would never date a girl like me. Have you ever dated a girl that was heavier than you? No, no, no. I didn’t say, ‘Have you ever fucked a fat girl?’ I’m sure you have, every guy has. I mean, when I bet you had I said, ‘Hey wanna go to the bathroom and screw on a big can of peaches?’ you would’ve gone for it. No, I’m saying have you ever dated a fat girl? Have you ever kissed a fat girl? Have you ever wooed a fat girl? Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street in the light of day holding hands with a big girl like me? Go ahead. Hold my hand. What do you think’s gonna happen!? Do you think your dick’s gonna fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl!? You know what the sad thing is? That’s all I want. I mean, I can get laid. Any woman who’s willing can get laid, I don’t want that. I don’t even need a boyfriend or a husband. All I want is to hold hands with a nice guy"

- "Vanessa" on Louie, "So Did the Fat Lady" (via istillmanagetotrip)

(via trumpetqveen)

Source: istillmanagetotrip
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"Ringo isn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles"

Lmfao.

(via trumpetqveen)

Source: iraffiruse
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waffulmunkies:

angelshavethephonebox:

seraphism:

atomicnumber5:

rainbowsfireworks:

shyguymask:

hashtagchanel:

m0rtality:

Oh my god.

THE CAT IN THE BACK

WHICH ONE OMG

THE ONE PLAYING GUITAR AND CEILING CAT THO

the fucking ceiling cat

this is perfect

I HAVEN’T SEEN THIS IN SUCH A LONG TIME

Why is THERE A CAT IN THE CEILING¿???

(via orgasm)

Source: m0rtality
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tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

(via fineeeosaur)

Source: best-of-memes
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aroxia:

swagginmun:

nefertsukia:

disneyprincessalexia:

thehufflepufffromgallifrey:

I must have watched Shrek about fifty times, but only last night did I notice that Lord Faarquad pops a boner when the mirror shows him Fiona.

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Christ on a bike!

i cAN’T BRHREATEH

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I made the same face the mirror did

(via orgasm)

Source: thehufflepufffromgallifrey